:((

ufff.. it's so irritating.com

i dunnoe wot's happenin at all...

our 2 yrs frenship is gg down the drain...

yyy godd....

some r busy working.. some r busy shopping...

urghhhhh...!!!!!!

pls god i dun wan all this ...

i wan the old us ..

plsssss

...

i hate it when i'm not able to help a fren...

i hate it even more when i'm able to help but in the end it turns out tht my help was jus another problem added to them...

sorry tht i interfered in ur lif..

sorry if i gave any wrong advice to u ...

i shud hab kept my mouth shut like most ppl do...

i didn't noe the words tht came out of my mouth was tht useless...

so useless tht in the end all the fingers were pointing at me..

but i had to go n open my mouth telling u to do this n don't do tht... thinking tht i was doing right...
mayb i was mayb i wasn't
only time will tell...
i tot frenship was the most amazing gift given to someone..
mayb i was wrong...

is this a joke?

0.o

o god..!!

is this a joke??

exam's gana start in 2 weeks n a few days time...

started my revision jus TODAY..

haiz.. i jus hope everything goes inside my head 0.o

Sci is like a lot mann..

n geog = whole book.. SIAOOO

P.S looking forward for a volleyball match n swimming this coming Sunday with babes :)))

...

back to blogging again :)

umm jus gana post some pictures .. taken few weeks back when i went out wid drishti n kamana :))

Three Idiots

<><><>                                     

The Blur Face

...

                                                    bidhaya's b'day - theme (hip-hop)

Our FamZ

wow m blogging again?

for real? haha .. jus felt like blogging once again..

umm came back to blogging after a longgg longg time...

well... nowadays feel like swimming a lot ... i dunnoe but i jus love it when m in water.. isn't tht cool? gr8 isn't it? 0.o ok enuff of the sarcasm..

went swimming on sat ALONE. there were onli 10 ppl + 3 lifeguards .. luks like everyone's avoiding water because of ghost festival eh.. well another update. my brother-who's-gana-be-3 yrs old in dec has learnt to count frm 1-29 . tht was realli cute i tot hehe...

hmm a lot of birthdays passed. kasi's . bidhaya's . sanqita's . 3 onli i realised hehe .. i said a lot..

i wasn't tht stable in lif.. as in i didn't used to pay attention in class, used to slack, skip volleyball (oopss), sleep late, become half dead in class the next day n stuff... bt i guess m ok-ay now. it's all because of frens n family support... M BACK :D

oh toking abt family.. my mom told mi tht she read my secret diary. isn't tht COOL??? haha.. well better change the name frm secret diary to PUBLIC diary. m joking .

ok wot else.. umm i tink tht's all..

will b blogging frm now on.

Sangita's b'day theme (black & white)

Dance Dance :))

...

2 weeks ... sleepless nites ... mixed feelings ... confused mind .... not in gd state ( both physically n mentally ) ... lots of crying

i'm glad tht i wasn't alone... there were ma babes hu supported mi n gav mi a shoulder to cry on when i broke down .. ryt there in front of them cuz i jus couldn't help it... i fucking couldn't help it... n i usualy hate to cry infront of ppl... true tht m emotional although i dun like to show it...

sry salina for disturbing u at late nite n toking to u for hrs.. thnx bikesh, kusum, bunu, akriti n resham for being there... i sounded helpless but u guys were a gr8 help.. one way or other....

they showed mi it was useless to waste my tears on him... i've gotta move on...but of course i still do miss him like crazy.. m still head over heels abt him... those memories are still fresh in my mind....

i dun even feel like using comp nowadays. dun feel like coming online. both in fb n msn. it feels useless, out of point when we dun even tok.... yeah we don't now... after i asked him personally - "so, is it over?" he said - "yes" frm dat tht onwards he hasn't toked to mi. 1 week. yes 1 week. i dunnoe y he hides frm mi. i realli dunnoe. i tot we could still b frens. haish. i jus tell myself tht god has a reason for everything but saying tht doesn't help ALL the time, does it?

..

i realli can't take it animore.. it's killing mi slowly.. talking to u makes mi happi but sad at the same time.. cuz so much happened n now we pretend as though we've jus known each other for a few days... it's realli hurting.. i'm gana break down again shit...!!!

...

i realli miss uuuuuuuuu.........

y isn't it like last tym when everything around me was wonderful n bright.......

i can't help the tears rolling down my cheeks ryt now........

i realli can't help but listen to those songs u told mi to listen n i hate it how those songs bring back the old memories............

i realli can't go on like this........

i can't play this pretending game.......

pretending as though everything is alright when nth is right.........

i realli feel like shutting miself from this world....

shall i??? i guess it wud b much better n easy rather than suffering slowly like this....

....

will i be able to ?? will i b able to live everyday pretending like it never happened??

2 yrs ago it broke n i was afraid. i decided not to break it again. i decided not to give it a chance at all. i was careful not to break it again. but it broke again. now i feel fragile. i feel lost. i feel broken. i feel emptiness inside me. i'm afraid of darkness now. i'm afraid to sleep alone in my bed. there used to b a time when i was always luking forward to my bedtime so i could hear ur voice... protective, calming...

n now i wake up in the middle of night cuz i can see u in my dreams, where u're leaving mi far behind...

i bet the fact tht m not crying big time whenever m alone is because we still talk. we talk normally. like normal ppl. we still talk a lot like we used to. but we jus tok as frens n not as couples. we both noe tht it's over. m hoping tht everything wud go back to normal but are u hoping the same thing??? or does this all depend on myself onli???

she's an optimist, she'll move on, she'll b able to forget all these, she's a sagittarius... ppl around mi says tht but no i dun think so... it's realli heartbreaking...

hhmm

well i realli dunnoe wad to post... it has been a long time since i've blogged .. hehe...

well things r going smoothly.. days seems long.. got 2 picnics - wid frens & gaule picnic.. excited :D

well i passed all the subs but the marks weren't THT good, so will try even harder for the EOY. loads of hws has been given for the holidays! when i say loads! it's realli loads! but it's for our own gd so yeah...

Back to facebook but it's kinda boring. back to jogging n aerobics n swimming.

today - went jogging n da morning. came home. washed clothes. ate. used comp. went for akriti's tile breaking. realli proud of my cousie :D u did ur best ! went js. discussed abt picnic at mustang.

o god pls make my like intereting. it realli sounds boring doesn't it?

rinchenn's sis was born todae.. 3 kg n 700 something.. nearly 800 g!!

hmm going jogging tmr in da morning wid kusum.. n tink i'll b gg for a swim..

...

damn pissed off.. ! i treated u like ma lil sis.. and a fren... didn't noe u wud do sumthing like this.. CB.. i noe u're younger than mi.. u're a bit playful n at times childish.. but i didn't expected u to do tht ...
if i can i can do the same wid u but i won't do tht cuz if i do then there won't b any difference between us... i'll b equally evil as u..


but thnx kusum.. for telling mi tht...
y do i even bother .. ppl hu noe mi WELL won't believe a fucking word u sae...
frm nw on m not gana trust u wid anything.. it's jus "hi" n "bye" thing..

love you

u're the sweetest thing tht has ever happened to mi

u make mi feel safe

u make mi alive

i love the way u smile

i love the way u joke

i love the way u sound

u're da best

i love uuuuu soo muchh musaaaaa...

camp camp

big sis. lil sis :D

tying up each other's hair.. cute eh??

usss... eating the watermelon...

after amazing race!

me - oldest sis, followed by julia, followed by nira haha...

gladys

aww angie :D - lemme guess wot she's saying

angie: whoa liao eh! u also eat la

kamana: haha inde bane.. dun wan la.. !
singing campfire songs but no campfire, no candle also hehe

VOLLEYBAL CAMP

1st day - my bag was the smallest of all. i dunnoe why the others brought such big bags... neways... went to parade square. assembled there. had to surrender our phones. played water bomb... n sum other games... bathing tyme..! i found out shri takes veryyyyy long tyme to bathe.. she was like the first person to go in among the 5 of us.. n the last one to come out..! ate our dinner.. n we played "don't forget the lyrics".. i n nira went up n chose the song - tik tok by keisha :D after all the singing i requested for justin beiber's baby n we all sang togeda hehe...

after sum singing came in dancing.. the sec 2s told mi to do pole dance cuz last year i had to do it..

neways danced in abracadabra, sorry sorry, shakira - hips don't lie n others.. can't rmb all the songs... well how it all went.. umm let's jus say the gals went WILD hehe...

after tht was nite walk - I WAS BULLIED BY kasi, indu n others.. n cheryl called herself avatar.. haha

they took mi ALL ova da place n told mi to do certain pose n took my picture.. i was blinfolded...

had to say "hi everyone" infront of all the NCC land guys n gal guides. paisey! 0.0 worse - had to give command at the parade square =.=' haha but it was fun... n salu tried to tok wif mi in diff voice but she was caught everytime :P

2nd day - woke up! n oh! kasi n salu came to our dorm to sleep... we had amazing race! was damn fun running here n there.. frm toa payoh interchange to bishan stadium... eating HALF the watermelon..! witout using any spoon or folk 0.0..!! doing chicken dance infront of public at the interchange...

taking pictas! for lunch went to subway n at nite we all wanted to share ghost stories.. n gladys n cheryl came to our place... gladys toked so soft tht indu said - i shall connect an earpiece in gladys to hear wad she's saying hehe.. well i dun rmb all the stuffs we did.. n we also got our VB tees.. my number's 99 ...

3rd day - went for councillor meeting.. we were so damn tired tht we slept during the last 30 mins of the meeting but mr lee didn't say anything cuz he understood we were realli realli tired like hell... n we all wanted VB camp to be 5 days 4 nites in it???

overall! THNX SENIORS n TEACHERS for making such a FUN n ENJOYABLE camp :D we'll miss u.. do come back next year ! :D

haha

todae went jogging wid kasi... at 630
went jogging afta so long...
went joo seng n when we were gg back home...
we couldn't help ourselves but go n watch the aunties playing volleyball ^_^

so watched them play n later mi, kasi, gopal, ankit, samyug n saugat went to mustang block to play... called bijay as well.. played 3 VS 3 for awhile... we were all so damn tired n sleepy n not in the mood to play .. partly because of the sun ... n as always i was laughing at lil things... afta playing for a while...we toked abt random thing for a while...n took pictas.. nono.. the BOYS took pictas ... not me n kasi.. FYI reee :P

akriti n the others went for hip-hop lesson todae... all the best gals :D hab fun :)
P.S i, ankit, saugat n bijay found a new n very fun way to play volleyball without having to run here n there... lols
bye blog.. needa study for sci test :)

:D

My feelings aren't clear...

we dunnoe where this will take us...

nor do we knoe for how long we'll ride...

but come with me wid open mind and heart...

and the time will prove...

with the laughter and joy....

and, perhaps, someday with love...

when u try to flirt or when i tease u....

can't forget ur smile...

ur cute lil eyes...

like it! when u gimme reasons to prove urself honest...

even when i dun ask for any....

like it! the way ur voice sounds...

even on early mornings...

but something's telling mi to stop...

something deep inside mi...

to be careful...

to make sure b4 i say or do anything...

n tht is why m saying...

the time will prove...

......

todae had fun.. playing volleyball.. actually didn't realli played huh? was laughing the whole time god..!! later we were all telling ghost stories n jokes.. we as in - mi, aki, puchu, bunu, soni, manki, ankit, suren, prabes, bijay ... the rest went home ...
n i still can't forget tht expression on suren's face when ankit scared the hell out of him haha....