IT'S easy to LOVE a person but it's DIFFICULT to hate him/her... it onli lasts awhile...
every human being on this EARTH noes.. how difficult it realli is to survive in a society.. to be SOMEONE! to be accepted in a society! and it's even more difficult to start a family. it starts off from two people who love each other and the number increases. it's difficult to start a family but it is even much MORE HARDER to maintain a stable family. IT NEEDS EFFORT! IT NEEDS TIME & PATIENCE AND MOST IMPORTANT - understanding and mutual respect.
it faces challenges and problems along the way. but sticking through all those storms is wht makes a family. it gotta learn from it. it's like a group of people holding hands together to make a circle. sumtimes one might get bored and tired from holding his/her hand, and break loose.. now tht's when the circle breaks. it's unstable. and others too might suffer from it. sometimes the person may come back or leave the circle forever.
and SUMTIMES they're there but choose not to hold others' hands n make a perfect circle.
now it's the duty of other members to welcome tht person in the circle again, to gib him/her the importance and respect.
i used to say BOLDLY "family comes first! family comes first!" when i reached the age of ten . i doubted it.
when i reached 12 my voice got softer but still said "family comes first!"
as yrs passed and i grew older i lost the confidence of saying tht family comes first. i lost it all. as each year passed, a bitter truth revealed itself. a more heartbreaking story from the past or an ugly truth/ event took place. wht could i do? i couldn't shout or scream. noone listened. i onli cried. i cried bitterly, as long as i wanted, alone - at nite. but the next day i couldn't show my tears to anyone, because i chose not to show. after all .. wht could they do? wht could my frens do? n closed ones do? feel sry for me - tht's all. tht's all.
as i grew older.. i decided to face it. to help tht member get inside the circle. i tried being nice - it failed. i shouted - it failed. instead i was threatened. tht's when i realised i had no power. i had no control. no control over things tht happened. so wht could anyone do during tht situation? YES. I. AVOIDED. IT. perfectly. blocked my ears, i closed my eyes and i moved on in life. to do wht? to gain power. to take revenge for the hurt and pain. to be someone. someone whom ppl listened to n respected to.
BUT. this failed too. because as i said - it's difficult to hate the person . IT. ONLY. LASTS. AWHILE.
and make peace not war. m gonna give it another chance. i hab decided after giving it a good thought. because i can't forever run away from problems like i did in the past. like the circle. it comes back to me again n again n question me . WHAT HAB U DONE AS A MEMBER OF THE GROUP?
definitely i hab doubts n fear. a TONS OF QUESTIONS - wht if this fails? wht if dad decides to shut me off like last time? wht if he doesn't change even after my hard work? wht if this leads to another big fight like the one tht took place last year in june? i might survive.. i will survive but wht will happen to my brother n sister. THEY need love n attention from both the parents. and NOT ONLY ONE!
keeping all these things in mind. and TAKING THE RISK. m moving on in life. to end this year meaningfully. to achieve something. to make the circle perfect.
after all i too.. wana shout out to the world boldly SOMEDAY that "FAMILY COMES FIRST!"
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